Sunday, August 23, 2009

expressing the emptiness inside me..

it's been a long time. =D

and i've been thinking.
thinking things the right way. =)
==

When i was younger,
i always asked myself.
why did i come into this world.
what was my purpose?
who chose me?

and after thinking.
i have my answer.
it may not be the most perfect answer in the whole world.
but i think it's the most perfect answer for me.

and the answer is..
ME.

i chose myself to come to this world.
i worked hard to come to this world(in a weird way -.-)
and my purpose is to live well.
to do my best and to be the brightest star.

everytime we cry we feel sad.
and perhaps it would be this sadness,
that pulls us into a dark hole,
or pushes us further towards our goal.

how did we choose to live?
how did we work hard to come?
easy

----this is going to sound weird----

as the sperm in our father's, ehem.
learning bio now mah.
out of many sperms around the egg.
we fought our way through.
we may not have thoughts.
but we fought our way into the egg.

this is way,
we chose to live,
and god respected our decision.


we chose, then he chose.
we chose to live,
he chose our fates in life.
according to how hard we try, work.

that is why,
we work hard in life to not let our unknown efforts go to waste.
that is why we strive.
that is why we sometimes we get unusual motivations.
so that we can fulfill our unknown desires.

it's all for ourselves.

----
i admit though,
i've been feeling abit pissed easily these days.
maybe because i feel tired,
wake up so early mahs.

then,
4 and 5 for LA.
chinese remedial.
so i got seriously pissed at my language situation,
because i nv seem to be able to concentrate fully during them.

LA is boring,
too boring for me.
it's not that i don't want to listen or pay attention.
i'm not used to sitting down for so long.
even after 14 years YES.

did i mention,
most people have one spot on their heads,
and i have 2 spots.
it purely means i'm stubborn, cheeky, naughty much more active ya.

and i've seriously been thinking,
LANGUAGE,
will pull my grades down like shit.

so i aim:
A1 - Maths, History, Science,
B3 - LA, HCL, Geog.
___________
total: 3.3 GPA

aim high ya.
but impossible.
(since i'm so stupid)

and i realised i've insulted or offended,
or demoralised ppl, because i'm too straightforward.
and i swear i'll try my best to change this part of me.

sooo, sorry ppl:
sohwanyih - called you short =p (i realised i neh insult much of my clique heh)
cheryl, novia - whatever i did to make u say i'm too straightforward.
-.- ms choo - for attituding you aft i got pissed at mdm CHOO<-- note similarity LOL
nicole - for always calling you blackie. (i swear i will stop that)

k fine, i know alot more.
so maybe i'm too tired to think of anymore.
so to the ppl up there,
my sincere apologies,
forgive my past remarks and stuff.
and yea,
try not to backstab me ya.
i'll change T_T

kay,
and i think i'm veh bad to ms choo since she started teaching us.
i've been bullying her on the fact that she's quite new.
T_T ain't i badbadbad.
i swear i will (try)pay my fullest attention in class,
and pass up all my bloody assignments on time. =)
and get my homwork book as soon as possible -.-
and treat u better.
(and pray u treat us like 14 yrs olds)
and i don wan teacher-student stuff.
i wan frenfren stuff.
so i try my best not to treat u like teacher(with respect)
and u must not treat me like student(with authority still)
-----
and thus i realise i have alot of things to do with myself.
CHANGE.
for the sake of myself.
but i'm still fuming at chinese remedial.
its useless, thats why.

haiz,
anyway.
at least the top part is reasonable right PEOPLE?!