Saturday, May 31, 2008
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Somehow 1E's got me repelled.
It's like, everytime the girls try to organise outings
they just don't care, can't be bothered.
I don't know how hard it is to just give your attention for 5 mins.
Or maybe, just shut your trap.
all these has me thinking,
are we really one class?
People claim it takes time to get close to your class,
it's been 5 months, yet i don't feel a thing.
The teachers, seniors, PSLs,
they've all done their part to bond us,
and hello,
they ain't part of this class fyi.
We haven't even done anything for the class,
not a single thing.
I can't say its all on the boys,
MOSTLY yes,
but some girls, they have this problems shoved up their minds.
they can't seem to let others talk for once,
and give positive comments.
Like, someone.
the teacher just has to wear his or her favourite tee
and she has to complain because of his or her taste.
WHATS THE PROBLEM WITH OTHER PEOPLE'S DECISIONS?
is it that hard to show some respect?
SEE THAT TEACHER SO NO TASTE,
ALWAYS WEAR SAME DESIGN.
THEN SHE RAISE HER ARM HER BODY CAN SEE.
ya SO WHAT? it's HER decision, not ours.
she's your teacher, she teaches you.
she controls her temper,
she lets us be when we go completely out of control,
yet you have to critizise her.
Wake up bitch, its not all about your favour.
1E, don't make me feel so uncomfortable,
i feel so...
It's so hard to explain.
It's hard to get along with almost all of you.
I know some may hate me for posting this,
i mean.
I know the class isn't all about ME.
but, even if you make the world hate me,
i wouldn't want to see an unbonded class,
i just want everyone to be happy?
Is that too much to ask for?
all we have to do is to just give in once in a while,
everything will be FINE after that.
all we have to do is to put in a little effort,
and everyone can be happy.
If nothing really changes,
i think i may regret my two years in RV.
Not everything's about having fun,
we have to work together at times,
GROUP work.
Yet we have to be so picky at the roles we play.
SO WHAT if you're a leader of a group.
If you can't sacrifice just a little for the members,
you're just as useless as a piece of rotten apple skin.
And why, you think sentosa's too small of a place for an outing.
FINE, why don't you just join your family for a trip at USA.
i'm not referring to anyone. i'm just giving examples.
You know the thing that really keeps me going in RV,
amazingly isn't 1E.
It's the CARROTS.
We can't even work together as a team during a small game of Captain's ball.
ask the carrots,
during nationals,
if they ever injure themselves halfway through the distance,
will they just give up and leave it to the rest of the team?
NO. they don't, they continue,
they make sure they finish the race.
Thats what really matters,
its not the outcome,
its the process that makes us learn.
At least they know,
at anytime if they look back,
they'll know they haven't let the team down,
they completed the race,
put in their best.
Whereas,
like Mr Keith said,
we can't even play like a TEAM.
Do you even know what a TEAM means?
Its hidden meaning is actually.
Looking out for each other,
doing things for each other,
sacrificing for each other.
winning for each other.
ENCOURAGING each other and
giving in to each other.
That isn't all.
There's still more, but it's a little more obvious now.
So if you can't see it, your life is meaningless.
I have experience.
4 people in a team.
3 girls 1 boy.
That boy, is called sacrificing.
We play and halfway through,
someone said she injured her finger.
I don't mean you can't injured your finger and rest.
but,
there's just a mere minute to go till the end of the match
and that one point.
they can't sacrifice. bear with the bloody pain.
Then she just stands out there, look at us play.
fine, 3 people left, 1 as goalkeeper.
2 people playing.
THEN, another girl just leaves the field with no notice.
and guess what,
she stands at the outer field watching happily like nothing ever happened.
and u know what?
there's 2 more left on the field,
one as goalkeeper,
so there's only one against 3 on the field fighting for the ball.
I was the one left on the field.
FINE, i accept it, i played on.
even so, both of us kept a positive goal,
score at least something?
or keep on playing till the end.
And guess what, we even managed to score.
we lost, the outer 2 didn't even know we won or lost.
And during the break i suggested getting a strategy or sth,
they said no hope.
FINE, i shan't talk about this.
It makes me mad, and disappointed.
--------------
But somehow i have to learn to treasure.
when i was watching channel 8,
i saw the sichuan charity show ad,
there was a quote,
*translated*
Darling, please come back to me,
please be safe because i will be waiting for you.
---------------
it really made me realise,
we've never been truely treasuring those around us.
those that care for us,
what did we do in return?
"i'm fine, myob la."
It's not until we've lost then did we treasure.
My grandmother passed away when i was just 7~8
i didn't realise she really meant so much to me.
no, i don't want to talk about it now.
---------------
never mind.
i'm alright,
people do emo.
And this is my 1 in 100 chance of emo-ing.
yea and its not really emo,
just other refelctions.
and they're unhappy ones unfortunately...
i'm having mixed emotions now..
=( (= oh whatever..
expressing the emptiness inside me..
Friday, May 30, 2008
Friday, May 30, 2008
Heh. today was WEIRD.
some malay stranger found wanxin's phone.
he called lydia, got my number and called me.
then we discussed where to collect the phone.
I said JE, he said too far.
He said Bedok, i said too far.
Then he asked for my age,
address,
and PI(personal info.)
I stupidly told him,
but i tricked him i stayed at CCK.
Then he suddenly said.
"You wan phone back.
then you have to do me a favour luh.
you haf to *fught* with me"
well, the*fught* i din know what was it.
so i thought fight.
I said "FIGHT YOU? HAH?"
then he said" no, you have to FUCK WITH ME"
Then i was so damn shocked luh.
i said are you crazy?
then he say if i don do it
wanxin won get back fone.
then i left the phone on with him
He put down, then called again.
i pressed busy button/
he called lydia.
i told wanxin tell parents call police ler.
but i bet they won't, up to dem luh.
-------------------------
Met joanne, venus at JE mrt platform.
Yueyin went to JRL,
we wait for HER. :X
Only her XD but it was ok,
she said she found chingxing.
and i thought chingxing was coming,
cus joanne said she was.
LOL, scare me, i dun mean she's scary la,
i scared she feel out. or me and joanne feel out.
since babi(s) and she was from 2K.
--------------------------
Went to SCHOOL,
i'm missing school already.
dunno why, not bcus of 1e.
I completely have no feelings to that class,
its just a group i study with.
nothing more impt than carrots.
But joanne said i'll feel closer to 1e soon.
--------------------------
andand, joanne scared me by saying
we can't reject teacher's nomination
as in, PSL nomination,
cus we were talking bout how stupid joanne was,
to become a PSL and volunteer to go to the cheering compt.
Then she said i had the face of one.
Then i suddenly said out mr keith teo comment
"stephanie has a lively disposition"
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
nono, don't scare myself yea?
I mean no offence,
i don't mean all PSLs are retards.
exception to joanne Chew Chi Ching. =P
*EDITED*
due to an arguement with JOANNE CHEW CHI CHING,
i hereby declare all PSLs
RETARDS. =D
expressing the emptiness inside me..
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Thursday, May 29, 2008
A. People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any questions that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.
B. Tag 8 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and can tag back the person whom they were tagged by. Continue this game by sending it to other people.
tagged by hanee and clemm.
1. What do you think an ideal best friend should be like?
Someone i can trust, cares for me. Treats me like her crush =D
2.If you have a dream come true, what would it be?
Everyone be happy. =D
3.Who's life would you want to takeaway most?
Those who kill others with a bad intention.
4.What would you do with a billion dollars?
I believe 平凡是幸福的, i shall donate most of it to charity, leave 120k for myself.
5. Do you dig your nose?
Depends, if i'm bored or if my nose irritates.
6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
loving someone. I believe as long as that person is happy, so am i.
7. Can you whistle?
yeps, but i don't do it
it looks unglam (and i have braces now. :X)
9. Do you live a happy life?
Yea, i have family that loves me
friends that make my life bright
i believe that is all i need. =D
10. If the person you like secretly is already attached, what would you do?
I will feel bad, but i'll wish that person all the best. ):
11. How would you see yourself in 10 years' time?
er, learning how to drive.
finding a job. i just graduated if i get into uni
i'm 23 by that time yea?
12. Who are currently the most important people to you?
Everyone.
13. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
hanee and clemm. =D
hanee is shyshy 1, can be crazy at times, but she is korean, and really nice
she has the touch of reds on her cheeks aye, n she loves singing!
clemm, my psl =D. she's emo at times, but she can be crazy if she wants.
oh and, i heard she made the peanut thingy, so she shud have a touch of music. =D
14. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
Can i be married and be financially average?
15. What's the first thing you do when you wake up?
yawn, look at the time, and perhaps go back to sleep =D
16. What does your favourite kind of shampoo smells like?
i dun have favourite shampoo. my mom helps me choose. =D
17. How would you rate the perfection of you life now?
99% perfect. i have people who i love and love me.
I just have that touch of hatred in me. ):
18. What type of people do you hate?
heartless freaks.
especially those who don't feel sympathy towards the sichuan victims. >.<
People to do the quiz!(you can tag back!)
1. Chang Ming
2. nanalaogong
3. Joanne Chew catdog
4. Sharon
5. Wan Xin
6. Hanee(do it again)
7. Clemm(since ur so bored =D)
8. Sey Chee( it took me 10mins to think of the 8th one 0.o)
-------------------------------------------
Its not that bad. at least u know what ur thinking aye.
Thanks for tagging me to do this quiz.
You may retag me again.
Cause it's fun to "SABO" others. jkjk
expressing the emptiness inside me..
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Since asked to update. i shall :)
Ok, today. SWIMMING<3333333333333
Swam in learners' pool aye.
andand, found out why swimmers don't drink too much water!
They drink in the water from the pool!!!
andand, coach was like,
"rotate your head to breathe steph"
"orh okay. i try one time"
*swims one lap*
"WOAH, WHY LIKE THAT ONE,
COACH I BREATHED IN SOMETHING FUNNY! HOW ARH?"
wakakaka, then coach just stared at me stupidly
"WATER LA. swimming is like that one,
you spend your time in water you sure breathe in abit 1"
-----------------------
Woahwoah, he scared the hell outafme.
Then when i mastered somewhat of freestyle
i went laps with Venus!!! BABI RIGHT? !!!! =DDDDD
she was FUNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
we started swimming the 8th or 9th lap tgt
read on...
----------------------
me : ready? one, two three. GO
*both of us starts swimming*
*POK*
seychee : sorry sorry!
me: sorry!!!!
*i turn me head behind*
me : WHAT THE? WHY U STILL THERE?
Venus: i started wronglyyyy!!!
-----------------------
Its hard to see the funniness in this scene by just reading. XD
Anyways, we continued luh. I started with the float yea?
andand, i did 水上飘.
andand, Venus learnt how to disrupt it.
i placed a small lil' float on my stomach below,
then i started swimming.
Then coach started praising me for not sinking.
XD So i kept quiet. If not he'll kill me for cheating.
andand, SEY CHEE WAS PRO.
she looked so relaxed when she swam freestyle.
I looked like a retard trying to keep myself afloat
by doing stupid flappers with my arms.
And i felt like a fish,
i breathe in WATER.
yea and it was really 自卑swimming beside her.
every breath i took there was bound to be water =P
But it was great to have company like BABI!!
THEN CAME THE EXCITING PART!!!
WATER SWIMMING <33333333333333
tiring but FUN although only 5 mins?
We were supposed to run in water
but it turned out like a drama.
It went like this luh.
u're supposed to have 90 degrees arm posture,
then knee lifts and push your leg down straight,
try to stay afloat, i'm not sure if you're supposed to move though.
Then this was what happened：
it happened to me and sey chee luhs.
So start laughing after reading this.
We went to 1.8m part
we jumped away from platform
we started "running"
and while we ran our head went lower
lower
lower
lower
gone.
LOL LOL LOL LOL L-MAO ROFL
andand, i'm getting darker.
YAY? no maybe not yay, just a little yay yea?
-----------------------------------
And i just thought it over.
feeling mentally hurt isn't good.
It is a long term pain that haunts us
i realised i'd rather have a broken ARM (no not leg)
at least i feel pain at one point only
not long term pain
Yea, so just want to tell me PSL, CLEMENTINE
don't keep feeling down yea?
it isn't good to emo all the time.
Try to feel happy yea?
i know ur feeling better now.
Keep it up, it's better this way. =D
expressing the emptiness inside me..
Friday, May 23, 2008
Friday, May 23, 2008
This is going to be a long post. so read it if you want. If you don't, just leave a tag. =D
----------------------------------
In my 13 years(or maybe 12) of life, there are a few people who made it a big difference.
I have let them down, and they have helped me in many ways. This post is dedicated to them.
(:
------------------------------------------
1.
CHANG MINGSORRY for sometimes making you angry. I couldn't help you when you were having your moodswings, sometimes i played a part in it i think. I think i may have insulted you unknowingly before, so if i did, sorry sorry sorry. Pls forgib me.
THANK YOU for encouraging me all the time when i had no confidence in myself, esp during the 8km runs where i would have mental blocks. for scolding me when i was doing stupid things which made me look totally stupid and pathetic. =P I haven't regret the day i became friends with you.
You will always be my BEST FRIEND FOREVER.
----------------------------------------
2.
ISABELLESORRYThe same thing, i sometimes unknowingly hurt you or insult you. Sorry, i realised you were a part in maturing me. and perhaps sometimes this year, we argue over our schools. I didn't realise that till now. I just want to tell you, in my eyes, all schools are equal no matter elite or not(i believe RV isn't elite anyways).
THANK YOUfor being with me no matter what happened. Esp, last year, the totally intense period. You encouraged me when i felt that all hope was lost. also in 2006, end of years results were sucky for me, but being with you made me forget all my troubles,
I wish you the best in your current school, jiayous, you will always be my BEST FRIEND FOREVER too!!!
----------------------------------------
3.
FANNSORRYI always did stupid things beside you, haha, and maybe it somehow made you feel stupid yea? I miss the times you always "bullied" me XD. Malacca was a nicenice trip because i got to be in the same room as you! HAHA, everyone said i influence you to become so rebellous ehh. Paiseh for that, haha.
THANK YOUfor making me life so happy. You were CRAZYYY in all ways yea? You just stood at our sides laughing when we talked. and haha, we did go out tgt sometimes didn't we?
You always have the WHATEVER attitude, which is soo cool to me XD.
Jiayous in your new school, you will always be my BEST FRIEND FOREVER too!
---------------------------------------
4.
CARROTS!<3333SORRYfor not always doing my best in races. I always let the team down all the time.
I haven't been trying my best to win, i've been setting my goals too low...
I know i have to try my best for the team, because i've been letting all of you down.
THANK YOUfor encouraging me when i'm about to complete 8km. for brightening up my day all the time.
You've all thought me many valuable lessons on life. I can't go anywhere just by myself, i need the team to push me forward, to progress. for not killing me when i've let the team down, instead kept telling me i could do it no matter what. You are the major group in RV for me. Its not the class that's for me, its the carrots.
Kah Kah
Joanne Leung
Joanne Chew
Kelly
Babi Yueyin
Babi Venus
MeiHui
Yee Ching
Sharon
Wan Xin
Lydia
Chang Ming
Yuning
--------------------------------------------
5.
LYDIASORRYfor neglecting you, Rufy and Nana laogong. I just realised that thanks to Chi Ching who pointed that out to me. So i'm making an individual one for you. Sorry for always pang sehing you by accident to talk to my friends, and turn up losing you. SORRYSORRYSORRY!!#$$%
THANK YOUfor being my lao gong and cheering me up so often. You're the closest friend i've made in RV since the start of this year. for helping me be friends with so many of your friends. =D
You always encourage me too, and you're my greatest support in RV.
BEST FRIENDS FOREVER!!!!!!!!
--------------------------------------------
6.
PSLsSORRYfor neglecting your efforts to bond the class together. I don't know, i just feel closer to my CCA.
for always ignoring all of you, i just don't know anything to say to you GIRLS.
for not being as "high" as you peeps during orientation cheerings, i just don't feel the need to cheer for my "class" then.
for not staying back with you peeps for PSS on Wednesdays, i have piano lessons...
THANK YOUfor being with us throughout orientation period where we didn't even know each other and the school. for always staying back with us for PSS although some of you don't always stay back, its the same for us, not all of us stay back. for guiding us through the first half of the year without any complains, at least, not infront of us. =D for going through the uncomfortable 2 day camp with us with least sleep i heard. I have a feeling we've became a trouble for all of you.
for staying back with us even when it was near examination season.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Thats the end i guess. It didn't turn out as long as i thought at first yea?
I hope the people listed read what i read.
If didn't, its ok, you may feel angry after reading these i guess...
I know i didn't list out all the sorries, but i couldn't thought of them.
Just read through.
(=
expressing the emptiness inside me..
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Heyhey peeps, link RVCarrots(X-Country peeps) C-Div'08 girls blog at
http://rvxc-c-div08.blogspot.com/!
---------------------
Lets just talk bout todae. =D
8km run in macritchie.
I think i wasn't going my best like coach said.
I felt so damn comfortable after i finished the run.
Coach immediately talked to me after the run,
so i forgot to stop the timing. =P
Andand, he said me look comfortable after 8km run
and having relaxed breaths
means two things...
1) I have greater potential to go even faster
2) I'm physically fit, it's my mental condition that's restricting me...
-----------------
I kept telling myself i could do it, i have to keep on running.
That was before the run...
During the run, i kept thinking,
what was i doing running 8km?
When i could play ball games,
stay at home on saturdays.
Yea, but i told myself,
all i am doing isn't for my own good purpose,
it's for the team.
The team that encourages me throughout,
the team that sticks with me through thick and thin.
----------------------
When i was finishing the run, the last stretch part.
Those who finished kept cheering me on.
It was moral support, i could feel it all.
They gave me confidence.
They make my day.
I have to talk and see them at least once everyday.
It's hard to get by without them, especially on Sundays...
I keep staring at their photos
Shall cont. tmr. >.<
*EDITED*
Yea, now to continue!
Carrots all the way!
We can do it on Wednesday, yes we can.
All we have to do is to believe in ourselves.
And whenever we overtake,
lets clap for the person,
because winning isn't everything,
it's the joy of seeing your teammates or peers finish the race.
Mr Quek's book was encouraging.
I love michael jordan's quote:
I can accept failure. Everyone fails at something. But i can't accept not trying.We may have failed many times in our lives,but we all have to know,
we tried our best,
although we did not win anything,
we learnt new knowledge, and improved our characters.
Ask the current world record holders,
they've all failed before,
and it was from the point where they failed,
did they pick themselves up and work harder towards their goal.
So yea, if you don't have the book,
and maybe want to enlighten yourselves,
you can come to the floor where 1e lies at.
Or wait at the piano on tuesdays and thursdays.
Or automatically come find me around the piano area in the canteen
on tues and thurs. =D
I'm willing to lend you,
as long as it does you good. =D
expressing the emptiness inside me..
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Saturday, May 10, 2008
I open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light
I can't remember how
I can't remember why I'm lyin' here tonight
And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain
How could this happen to me?
I've made my mistakes
got nowhere to run
the night goes on
as I'm fadin' away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?
Everybody's screamin'
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I'm slippin' off the edge
I'm hangin' by a thread
I wanna start this over again
So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't
How could this happen to me?
I've made my mistakes
got nowhere to run
the night goes on
As I'm fadin' away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?
I've made my mistakes
got nowhere to run
the night goes on
as I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me? I'm sick of it,why did it happen?i've already made so many mistakes...
expressing the emptiness inside me..
Monday, May 5, 2008
Monday, May 05, 2008
The race on 3rd May rocked my socks off.
I did verly badly, so we dropped down a position T_T
But never mind, i believe in what the process brings to me.
Teamwork! RVcarrots rule no matter what the results are.
----------------------------------
The race on 3rd May:
Told Sharon Wanxin and Joanne to meet at JE interchange at 12.50p.m, as usual i reached at 1p.m.
Pro eh?
Then we wasted 40 mins walking about at macritchie and blindly following coach.
When he said to put our bags in his car instead.
Then the relay(RELAY) started! 4x3km!
Cool right? I know you're jealous~
I did really badly, because at the slope, my hind leg kicked a rock,
and my front leg stepped on it,
and i sort of "twisted" my ankle.
But it didn't swell, because it was just an old injury.
MGS girls are uber nice!
-============================
SHARON, I HATE YOU.
YOU OWE ME THE KETTLE JUG.
THE RICE COOKER.
CHOOSE ONE, OR I SHALL KILL YOU.
HOW COULD YOU WIN TWICE IN THE LUCKY DRAW?
T_T
I DIDN'T EVEN WIN ONCE?!
-------------------------------------------
Ok, dun talk about the race anymore.
The results shall be disclosed as a surprise for you all.
-------------------------------------------
I don't know why la, i recently keep emo-ing.
And i don't like it. I really don't like it lor.
I just sit on the bus and stare out of the window all the way back home.
You know how boring that is right?
Then i keep thinking of looking at other places,
but my head stays at the same place.
I HAVE NEVER EMO-ED SO MUCH BEFORE.
-------------------------------------------
am currently les-ing with Chang with old-fashioned communication
EMAIL! ahhh, the rewards of modern tech! =D
-------------------------------------------
I'm sooo gonna slack for RV-cross country, so Gryphon will win,
and so Mino will lose. =D
Because i don't like MINO,
I WANT GRYPHON !!!!!!!!! <3333333333333333
=DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
Gryphon gets LT1(air-coned) for house meeting can?
And MINO pathetically gets CANTEEN.
And all my nice nice seniors are in gryphon.
I don't mean Kah Kah and Kelly isn't nice
MORE nice seniors are in gryphon can?
--------------------------------------------
TAGG ME LEHHH, I'M BLOGGING BUT NO ONE BOTHERS TO KEEP MY TAGBOARD ALIVE.
I FEEL THAT I'M BLOGGING TO IDIOTS?
OR TO THE NON-LIVING THING, WALL?
expressing the emptiness inside me..
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Thursday, May 01, 2008
I suddenly did some reflective thinking just now.
I was just thinking, what's the cycle involving HATE?
It should be, disagreements->conflicts->insults->HATRED
Well, for dissgreements to start, you have to be friends with the person first.
Then it leads to conflicts, problems with decisions.
Insults, how LOUSY the person makes choices.
isn't it all obvious now?
But, no matter how big the problem is, we were once friends.
The feelings will be there.
--------
Have you ever been sandwiched between to friends who are fighting?
Making choices you never expected or wanted to make?
The feeling is terrible.
I know, because i've been through it.
--------
There's one thing school can't teach us.
FRIENDSHIP
Nobody in this world will ever know how strong the effects of this word is.
Let me tell you my story on the first problem(HATRED)(REAL):
--
It happened last year, i was sitting between two of my closer friends.
It really helped my chinese improve, because, er, the both of them would tell me to pay attention if i don't.
Then it came, two boys were talking all the time, and sometimes quarreled.
I was an innocent bystander.
Or maybe you can say, VICTIM.
My teacher(Chinese) had a talk with both of them.
Then she came into the class and said to me(translated):
I want you to change place with that boy.
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FINE, i changed my place, after a few arguments. My grades started deproving afterwards. I used to have a positive attitude towards chinese. It changed after all these. I became rebellious, i never expected what i was about to think. I slacked at all the worksheets and homework my teacher gave, i practically failed everyone of it. The way i looked at my teacher was so different now. Then i losed it. I gave up controlling my temper. I went back to my original placing, then the teacher called to talk to me. It happened in primary 5, i argued with my chinese teacher too, so i kept quiet. But the way she was explaining, i couldn't stand it. I controlled till i reached the limit, i cried. She asked me what happened, i looked away. In my 6 years of primary school, i've never cried before, not even when i was scolded for the first time in primary 1. The madness in my heart was burning me. I couldn't stand her, so i walked out. I sat outside the hall, i was crying. Alot of my friends comforted me(thank you), i looked at them, they had a shock. The way my eyes expressed hatred was unimaginable. I wasn't a person who hated, in my friends eyes, i was simply a happy-go-lucky person, they were afraid i would shout at them. So i buried myself between my knees again. Then after recess, it was still chinese, there was compo. I crushed the picture for my compo, and tore it. My teacher didn't scold me, she just kept quiet, what i thought was a wise thing to do, i couldn't take anymore setbacks.
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I had small counselling sessions with Ms Loh(form teacher). I guess it really made me calm down, but i was still ignoring my chinese teacher. There's one sentence that really make me think. "Don't let what you hate, make your subjects drop." It isn't really accurate to what ms loh said to me, but the meaning was about the same. I remember, or i think, ms loh once said i was different from most of other girls. I was a really straightforward kind, whatever i want to do, i do it. While the other girls just act their girly ways. Ms Loh was different from other teachers(at least to me), she didn't scold me, she talked to me. She treated me like i was her friend, the way i wanted all teachers to be like. My chinese dropped from regular As to regular Bs. Then subject head of Chinese talked to me. It was the 2nd time, counting primary 5's experience. She said she wanted me to give the teacher a chance. I agreed.
I shan't continue, it was a really bad memory i don't want to think of again.
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Well, actually, something that can't be found in the story.
I learnt to forgive and forget. Let bad pasts go, start all over again.
Because once you regret something, it may be too late.
Let it go...
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thank you teachers and friends, you made the 6 years in SAPS an unforgettable experience.time may past, but the memories of all of you will never be forgot.
expressing the emptiness inside me..
