oh well..
MYEs is screwed.
i thought it would all go well aft getting chem..
guess i was wrong.

Freaking 4hours(leftright) crying in school,
after school still crying 0.0
it was one setback after another.
geog then LA.

i've completely lost my confidence.
i think i completely lost hope.
just now piano lessons,
i couldn't play like how i practise usually.

now i'd just think.
did my efforts pay off.
or am i just stupid.

at first after i got my geog.
i saw my marks and i was like,
wow great, i passed.
then i didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
i passed,
with sucking marks.

then i realised i would be last in class.
then i was having tears welled up in my eyes.
then wooshhh- they dropped.
it's amazing how tears can't controlled.
and stupid tallie said i looked ugly when i cry.

i was crying throughout malay.
hah, and i was praying only veron and those nearer to me,
would know i was crying.
then aft malay suddenly everyone come.
make me cry even more.
i felt like. a disappointment.

today,
i haven't been out of my room,
just for piano lessons.
i just lied on my bed.
slept at 3a.m,
woke at 6a.m
i just lay on my bed till 2p.m
then i woke up with a backache/neckache.

the world just looks so dull suddenly.
mummy said i've grown up,
since i nv cried about results before.
mummy, i just want to make u proud.
always is gor get top,
i nv get anything.
i know u don expect anything,
that's why i want to prove to u i'm something.
guess i failed time and time again.

i donno,
i don't feel like going school on monday.
i didn't eat lunch 2 days ler.
ate small dinners only.
no mood to do anything liao.
p.s i don't eat breakfast.
here comes mrs tan AHH.
-.-

i feel damn grateful.
YIJIN veron wanyih
jiahui weishan cheryl felicia
SIUMIN bernice NICOLE
YUNING. alvin
stupid tallie who told me i looked ugly when i cried.>.<

thanks peeps.
for giving me support and everything.
for telling me that someone would be there.
for talking to me in one way or another.
for consoling, comforting and advising.(yijinnicole)
for crying with me(siumin -.-)
for wasting time and smses on unmeaningful talks(nicole)
for pei-ing me to busstop(alvinbernicenicolestupidtallie)
still feeling helpless and siann diao.
for no reason i'm feeling real sian.
i've been hogging on my hp for the whole day.
or sleeping.
my mom kept saying i'm a vegetable cus i keep lying on bed.

fine,
maybe there's sth wrong with me.
i'm not feeling as sociable as usual.
i just feel..
sian diao lor.

monday will feel as meaningless.
siannnn. i'm like ice liao.
throw me an A1 i also donno how to react.
bye. i'm gonna sleep.

then maybe my world will go round again.
then maybe the sun will shine.
then maybe i'll find the ray of light.
then hope.