I suddenly did some reflective thinking just now.
I was just thinking, what's the cycle involving HATE?
It should be, disagreements->conflicts->insults->HATRED
Well, for dissgreements to start, you have to be friends with the person first.
Then it leads to conflicts, problems with decisions.
Insults, how LOUSY the person makes choices.
isn't it all obvious now?
But, no matter how big the problem is, we were once friends.
The feelings will be there.
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Have you ever been sandwiched between to friends who are fighting?
Making choices you never expected or wanted to make?
The feeling is terrible.
I know, because i've been through it.
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There's one thing school can't teach us.
FRIENDSHIP
Nobody in this world will ever know how strong the effects of this word is.
Let me tell you my story on the first problem(HATRED)(REAL):
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It happened last year, i was sitting between two of my closer friends.
It really helped my chinese improve, because, er, the both of them would tell me to pay attention if i don't.
Then it came, two boys were talking all the time, and sometimes quarreled.
I was an innocent bystander.
Or maybe you can say, VICTIM.
My teacher(Chinese) had a talk with both of them.
Then she came into the class and said to me(translated):
I want you to change place with that boy.
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FINE, i changed my place, after a few arguments. My grades started deproving afterwards. I used to have a positive attitude towards chinese. It changed after all these. I became rebellious, i never expected what i was about to think. I slacked at all the worksheets and homework my teacher gave, i practically failed everyone of it. The way i looked at my teacher was so different now. Then i losed it. I gave up controlling my temper. I went back to my original placing, then the teacher called to talk to me. It happened in primary 5, i argued with my chinese teacher too, so i kept quiet. But the way she was explaining, i couldn't stand it. I controlled till i reached the limit, i cried. She asked me what happened, i looked away. In my 6 years of primary school, i've never cried before, not even when i was scolded for the first time in primary 1. The madness in my heart was burning me. I couldn't stand her, so i walked out. I sat outside the hall, i was crying. Alot of my friends comforted me(thank you), i looked at them, they had a shock. The way my eyes expressed hatred was unimaginable. I wasn't a person who hated, in my friends eyes, i was simply a happy-go-lucky person, they were afraid i would shout at them. So i buried myself between my knees again. Then after recess, it was still chinese, there was compo. I crushed the picture for my compo, and tore it. My teacher didn't scold me, she just kept quiet, what i thought was a wise thing to do, i couldn't take anymore setbacks.
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I had small counselling sessions with Ms Loh(form teacher). I guess it really made me calm down, but i was still ignoring my chinese teacher. There's one sentence that really make me think. "Don't let what you hate, make your subjects drop." It isn't really accurate to what ms loh said to me, but the meaning was about the same. I remember, or i think, ms loh once said i was different from most of other girls. I was a really straightforward kind, whatever i want to do, i do it. While the other girls just act their girly ways. Ms Loh was different from other teachers(at least to me), she didn't scold me, she talked to me. She treated me like i was her friend, the way i wanted all teachers to be like. My chinese dropped from regular As to regular Bs. Then subject head of Chinese talked to me. It was the 2nd time, counting primary 5's experience. She said she wanted me to give the teacher a chance. I agreed.
I shan't continue, it was a really bad memory i don't want to think of again.
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Well, actually, something that can't be found in the story.
I learnt to forgive and forget. Let bad pasts go, start all over again.
Because once you regret something, it may be too late.
Let it go...
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thank you teachers and friends, you made the 6 years in SAPS an unforgettable experience.
time may past, but the memories of all of you will never be forgot.