fuck yesterday.
had a talk with ms or.
really felt like crying lor.
but who wants to show ur true feelings infront of a teacher.
and she really put salt on my wound.

its like,
i know my results are poor enough.
and she had to go and ask me.
what shit is this..

i went home to cry,
since i knew i failed my hist.
i failed 3 subjects liao..
fuck la.
i already studied vry hard.
donno why i still failed.
maybe i was born a failure.

damn.
then wan zhen ang foonghui saw my marks.
when i was chloe they all.
then i was like.
"eehhh.... nolanola"
then change subject.
scarrry leh. they already guessing liao.

anybody can know except my classmates.
i don't know why.
maybe i don't trust them fully yet.
what ever la.

it's like,
i want to stop doing all these.
but everytime when my emotions get mixed up.
like when i get pissed off,
unhappy, or what ever.
other than happy.
i just don't know how to express my emotions.
get it?
i just do it all on myself.

sometimes,
it's just like,
it really isn't all because of him already.
i haven't get over it.
partially him.
i started off cause of him.
then it progressed further.
i think they call it 沉默.
Or whatever lor.

something like,
i started to keep everything to myself,
instead of showing it out.
and slowly i lost the ability to express my emotions.
and i expressed it all on myself.
what a bad thing to do.

now i have to start afresh.
learn how to express them again.
thats my main goal now.
i have to learn it again -.-
it may take me forever luh...